October 24, 2017

Are Chemtrails Preparing Us for the Zombie Apocalypse?

Photo: Night of the Living Dead Zombies

Happy Friday, dark passengers. Today, we’re going to touch on an issue I know has been at the forefront of all your minds for quite some time now: The Zombie Apocalypse.

Now, I know we were all disappointed when the Swine Flu pandemic a few years back didn’t bring about a moaning army of the undead on which we could practice all the stuff we’ve learned in zombie movies. If you’ve been stockpiling zombie apocalypse supplies in your basement since you were 15, you’re in luck. 2011 may just be the year your dreams of almost being eaten alive by your infected best friend could become a reality.

Woo…

For the majority of people out there who don’t stockpile survival goods and don’t have a clue what I’m talking about, let me back up and break this one down so we can all go into a raving panic at the same time.

Dangers of Chemtrails

Photo: Zarateman

Alright, you know how some mornings you go outside and the clear sky is streaked with cloudy white lines? They look like the normal fumes or exhaust that come from airplanes, called contrails. At first, you might think nothing of it, especially if you live near an airport. But when you live in the middle of nowhere and never see planes in the sky, you might question why so many planes decided to zigzag over your house first thing in the morning.

Enter chemtrails.

According to the conspiracy community, chemtrails look just like regular contrails. Except…they aren’t. These cloudy lines are actually full of chemicals that one wouldn’t find in normal airplane contrails.

Purpose of Chemtrails

No one knows the exact purpose of chemtrails, just as no one fully knows who’s behind the chemtrails. (Though the go-to villain in this case would be the NWO or the Illuminati.) But we do have rampant speculation as to their purpose:

  • Biological warfare
  • Chemical warfare
  • Mind control
  • Population control
  • Solar radiation management
  • Weather control.

The most recent theory I’ve heard is that chemtrails are actively pumping the air, crops and ground water with aluminum. As I’ve said in the past, me and Science aren’t super-BFFs, so I couldn’t tell you why anyone would want to do this. We’ll just assume it’s bad because too much of anything tends to be dangerous.

Benefits of Chemtrails?

Let’s be clear, I can’t imagine that some unknown group of people would actually be dosing us with chemicals via chemtrails to improve our lives, but we’ll play devil’s advocate for a paragraph or two because it’s fun. Imagined benefits of chemtrails could be:

  • Health supplements
  • Protection from alien death rays
  • Resistance to zombie virus.

I won’t even pretend that’s a good list…or, um…plausible. If chemtrails are real, I’d guess they aren’t there for the good of all humanity, but you know me…have to show both sides if I can.

Moving on.

Zombies Walk the Earth in 2011

Photo: Gajda-13

And now we commence the zombie apocalypse portion of our discussion. I know everyone’s got their hopes and dreams pinned on December 21, 2012 as being the end of the world, but that’s not the case. Apparently, the world ends on October 21, 2011 – Happy Anniversary to me!

In preparation for the end of the world, judgement will happen on May 21, 2011.

For those of you playing the home game, that gives you four months from today to finish up those bucket lists…

Why Does the World End in 2011?

I know, this 2011 thing was news to me as well. I’ve got to start my end of the world panic well over a year in advance now. I’m seriously behind on all my doomsday preparations.

Anyway. Apparently, this is Biblical and the good people at eBibleFellowship would love to show you all their calculations for how they came up with the dates for judgement day and the end. Of course, I don’t pretend to be the end-all, know-all of religion, but they make some assumptions that didn’t seem right to me:

  1. You can find out the exact dates for the end of the world in the Christian Bible (I could’ve sworn it said no one would get to know that)
  2. Jesus was crucified at age 40 (I thought he was supposed to be 30-ish)
  3. The Great Tribulation began in 1988 (I don’t recall fulfillment of all the prophecies)
  4. On May 21, 1988, Satan took over all the churches in the world (So, this would mean the churches many of us were raised in were Satanic?)
  5. Judgement Day lasts for 5 months (Umm…why?)

I’m sure I could find some very complex calculations to explain all the math if I really looked, but…eh. You can read their online pamphlet if you want to know how they arrived at these dates.

Um…What About the Zombies?

What they say will happen on the day of judgement is that God will raise up all the dead from their graves. I’m talking all the dead EVER. They refer to this as a time of much horror and suffering.

Enter the zombies.

Now, it’s entirely possible that they just mean God’s going to pile up all the dead bodies on the streets of the world and we get five months to freak out about it. No word on what happens to cremations and such. But, come on y’all…What do you think of when you hear about the dead rising up out of their graves?

Zombies! Okay, maybe you think vampires or whatever. I think zombies.

And the Chemtrails Are Related…How?

You know…I have no idea. I was in a forum reading about the purpose of chemtrails as they pertain to the evil plans of the NWO/Illuminati and some guy was in there screaming about this and posting the link. (and I do mean SCREAMING…Learn to turn off Caps Lock, people)

Since random bad typing guy couldn’t link the two together, I’ll give it a shot. Maybe:

Chemtrails prepare the ground. Think about it…All those bodies have to get to the surface some way. Sure, God could snap his fingers and make them appear, but it would almost be more terrifying to watch the dead bodies slowly seep up through the earth. Perhaps the chemicals in the chemtrails are to make the ground start pulling things up from down below?

Chemtrails prepare the bodies. Now, again, we can assume God has the power to reanimate corpses by snapping His fingers. Then again, maybe the NWO is creating the zombies through the chemtrails. We know all these chemicals eventually seep down into the soil. Dump enough and perhaps it’s enough to mutate and reanimate dead bodies?

Chemtrails prepare us. Five months is a long time to hide from zombies, y’all. Don’t get me wrong, being eaten by zombies sounds like a pretty horrific thing, but most of us would die in the first days or weeks. The more horrific thing to do is to make us live around the zombies for five full months, watching them prey on animals and anyone who doesn’t have enough chemtrail exposure. Perhaps the chemtrails are to make us immune to the infection that zombies spread to create more zombies.

As I reread this list, I’m struck with one awe-inspiring fact: I will talk about anything, even when it’s clear I have no idea what I’m talking about.

So, let me hear your theories, dark passengers. Are chemtrails real? Will the world end in 2011? Can we connect chemtrails with the impending zombie apocalypse?

Jen

“Let your dark passenger come out to play…Be your own nemesis!”

Editor’s Note: We do not list references for 99% of the conspiracy related websites we find online. Referencing them would imply they are credible and by definition, a conspiracy theory cannot be proved. Please google chemtrails, Illuminati, NWO, etc to find hundreds of links to fringe conspiracy sites.

© 2011, Jen Whitten. All rights reserved. Remember, using content from this site without prior written permission will either land you on Dexter’s table or set off the zombie apocalypse. DON’T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YOU.

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About Jen Whitten

Jen Whitten is a paranormal researcher and writer, specializing in psychic development, Empaths, modern day vampirism and dealing with entities. She regularly discusses the paranormal realm, as well as the dark inner workings of the mind.

Comments

  1. HEATHER says:

    now when i see the trails in the sky, i am going to hear the Vincent Price laugh from Thriller…..just sayin HA!

    This is the first i have heard of this theory, and it’s very interesting.
    Wait, you said Tribulation began in 1988.

    My crazy sister was born January 1, 1988. I believe that theory may be true!

    • Jen Whitten says:

      Well, that’s what I read. I’m not sure how much stock I care to put into the math behind their calculations. They have lots of scripture to reference things, but I don’t believe we can use the Bible to determine the date its already told us we can’t know. It doesn’t really jive for me.

      Sorry about the extra laughter in your head. ;)

  2. Cherrie says:

    First of all…you crack me up. Of all of the “interesting” things in my woo woo world I’ve contemplated, none of these have been on that list. Now I need to rethink the things I fret about!

    Second…It boggles my mind that truly there ARE people concerned about this. In the big picture, I figure, when the world ends, it ends. The end (so to speak). What will anybody gain through panic? We’ll all live again in one way or another, somewhere…might not be earth, but it will be an adventure.

    Now, every time I see a “chemtrail” or “jetstream”, I’ll think of YOU Jen.

    Entertaining. You write REALLY well. I’m envious.

    • Jen Whitten says:

      I aim to please. :)

      I think the depths of my woo-woo ness would astound most people. Sometimes I’ll hop onto a conspiracy site and follow the rabbit hole all the way to the most insane and possible theory I can find. (That’s normally about the time I feel compelled to re-stock up on dry goods/non-perishables…then my sanity returns I try to figure out what do with all the damn pasta in the house.)

      If I’m honest, I’m actually concerned with all this on some level. Not in an “OMG the sky is falling” kind of way. If the world ends, super. My concern centers on what happens to us if it’s the end of the world as we know it. I’m a very modern girl. I don’t think I’d know how to function without electricity and running water. From all the post-apocalyptic movies/documentaries I’ve watched, I know one thing to be true: I am totally, 10% worthless to a survival-based society. That means I’m probably one of the first women out there to get raped and murdered. Personally, I’d rather go ahead and die in whatever calamity strikes than deal with all that mess.

      Hmm…one friend associates me with Dexter’s dark passenger…no chemtrails. Perhaps I should work on being associated with “normal” things next…nah!