January 18, 2019

Dexter Episode 5.02 Recap – Hello, Bandit

Dexter Morgan

'Hello, Bandit' gives us more dead bodies, but are any of them Dexter's handiwork?

Happy Dexter Day, dark passengers. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to enjoy the second episode of Dexter season five as much as I would’ve liked, so I’ll have to watch it again tomorrow for sure. Why? Well, because of a DVR mishap and a husband who doesn’t get that I don’t want to wait all night to watch my favorite show, I didn’t get to see it until three hours after it first aired tonight.

Something tells me this is the LAST week I’ll be watching it with him…

Now that I’m done whining for the night, let’s talk about tonight’s new episode of Dexter, ‘Hello, Bandit.’ From the perspective of someone watching the show – not someone who was already annoyed before sitting down to watch it – I enjoyed the second episode of the new season of Dexter much better than last week’s episode. I don’t think we’re back to the true heights Dexter is capable of reaching, but still an improvement.

I’ll go A- for this episode. We’re not back to the Dexter we know, love and expect to see each week, but we’re getting there. More groundwork tonight, but I think it was all important groundwork. So, let’s get to it, shall we? (And this is a mammoth post, y’all. Sorry!)

Previously on Dexter…

Lots of stuff from a last week. Deb and Quinn’s floor exercises. Deb’s post primal freak out to Quinn. Dexter trying to tell the kids about their mom. Astor’s freak out about how she hated him and wished he were dead. LaGuerta’s freak out phone call to Deb when Dexter missed his FBI interview. Deb’s freak out phone call to Dexter about it. Dexter’s freak out to the guy who said Dexter’s dead wife could suck his dick.

So, we’ve thoroughly established last week was about everyone freaking out.

They also showed us little snippets from last season. We got to see Dexter meet Arthur Mitchell aka Trinity. They also mentioned Kyle Butler. Actually, they showed us the Kyle Butler crime scene they investigated. Looks like that’s one alias Dexter won’t be able to bury with the dead. Well, either that or they’ve decided to show us irrelevant scenes…

Hello, Bandit Begins…

“It’s said there are seven stages of grief. I suppose killing someone with my bare hands in a men’s restroom was my way of working through the anger stage. Whatever the other six stages are…I don’t have time for them. ‘Cuz now I’m a full time dad. Once the kids and I are back together…it’ll all be fine.”

This week’s Dexter begins with Dexter swimming, contemplating the nature of grief and how he’ll work through it. Apparently, everything’s better once he gets the kids back. Looks like Dexter doesn’t have a clue about the reality of being a single dad.

Right off the bat, everyone moves into Deb’s apartment. Astor’s pissed off because she wants to go home. If you’re thinking she might let up on Dexter at some point…don’t hold your breath.

The FBI Interview

We don’t get to see the entire interview, but from the way Dexter’s hands are covering his face in the first shot, I think it’s obvious they’ve been going over and over and over again his whereabouts the night of Rita’s murder. When lady Fed says they know he was at Arthur Mitchell’s house, we get the faintest bit of anxiety on his face.

What do they know? Do they, you know…know?

Nope. They know he was part of the police investigation going on at Trinity’s house. In fact, they know he was there at the time Trinity was killing Rita. He’s off the hook – for now – but they do want to know if he can think of any reason that Trinity would target his wife. Dexter’s response, “Because he’s a serial killer?”

I love you, Dexter Morgan.

Life Goes On at the Station Without Him…

LaGuerta talks to the Feds to find out that Dexter’s off the hook, but they don’t have any leads. They’re looking into Kyle Butler (thanks, previouslies…) because he’s the only friend of Arthur Mitchell’s, but they don’t have anything yet. LaGuerta says she remembers that name because of a murder investigation a few weeks back.

A few weeks? Yeah. We’ve been missing Dexter for nearly a year, but it’s only been a few weeks for them.

The Feds say their guy is very much alive and agree to keep her posted on their investigation. Bautista tries to give Lieutenant Wifey her mail, but drops it…discovering she’s got an account with $268,000 in it. Is she on the take? God, I only wish. Turns out she’s just uber frugal and has worked hard to stash that cash away in her retirement account.

Bautista will spend the entire episode asking people what they’d do in his situation and everyone agrees the money isn’t part of the community pool. By the end of the ep, Bautista asks LaGuerta about it and she claims she wasn’t hiding it, but she’s not going to share it. He might be a smidge irresponsible with his money.

To prove his level of responsibility, he buys drinks for everyone after work…then beats the crap out of some guy who starts talking trash about his wife.

Back to Dexter…

So, he’s promised Astor and Cody he’d pick up a few things from the house for them. This should be a simple matter of throwing some clothes and toys into the minivan, right? Please. This is Dexter we’re talking about. He’s renting a moving truck.

While the obnoxious salesman is trying to help him save money by telling him he can get by with the 10-foot truck, Dexter’s distracted. By his angry kids or dead wife? Nope. He saw a spot of blood in the larger truck. He’s going to need that one instead.

You see, tonight is ‘Take Your Infant Son to Work Night’ and Dexter’s going to take Harrison out into the truck in the middle of the night so he can spray down the truck and look at blood under the black light. If that didn’t already qualify him for Father of the Year (move over, Harry), he tells Harrison a story about an evil ogre who killed the handsome prince and princess in the back of the truck. He knows there was a princess because of small hand prints.

Could’ve also been a carnie. According to Austin Powers, they have small hands…

Everyone’s favorite wife-stealing neighbor comes over with the mail when Dexter’s packing flatware into a box. You know, because Deb doesn’t have enough forks for him and the kids. Elliott offers his condolences, asks if there are any leads on Trinity and says he’d like to get his hands on that guy. Then he starts offering single dad advice. Dexter flees the room after a tense moment where I’m sure we all hoped he was going to slice neighbor’s femoral artery with a chef’s knife.

Deb’s Still Not Okay…

Not only does Dexter bring all the flatware, he brings the contents of the fridge. Poor Deb already ate an entire tuna casserole to make room for things, now there’s even more food that peeps keep leaving at Dexter’s door. (Does no one realize that people aren’t usually hungry after seeing their wife in a pool of her own blood?) Cody comments on the beer in Deb’s fridge and Astor is pissed off because Dexter brought her reject clothes. Good, good times.

At least Gram and Gramps are there to act as a buffer with the kids. Well, during the unloading and unpacking, anyway.

Then there’s the Quinn situation. Deb can’t handle the crowd so she goes to crash on Quinn’s couch. He tries to kiss her hello, but she tells him to keep his fat little sausage fingers off her. He promises to do so and that the couch is hers whenever she needs it.

The next morning, he wants to talk about what’s going on between them. Deb would rather live in denial…you know, that magic place where she didn’t ride Quinn like a cowgirl on Dexter’s kitchen floor. She tells him that nothing happened. They didn’t have sex because he’s not someone she’d sleep with. Even though I hate him, I felt so bad for Quinn during that scene.

But, Quinn’s still the ass who’s now trying to piece a picture of Dexter out of three separate sketches of Kyle Butler, so I’m glad he’s all confused.

And, let’s face it, it’s not like he’s making things easy on her. She goes by a rental house on the way back to the station and Quinn pretends they’re together to the realtor. Then he pisses her off even more by hopping on the bed and telling her how comfy it is. She tells him to stop and he curls up and mutters something about nap time. She walks out on him.

Unfortunately, Deb let’s him off the hook by the end of the ep. She calls to say they had sex. Quinn wants to know if it was good sex and if they’ll be having this sex again. Deb hangs up on him.

Dexter’s New Best Friend…

Turns out that was human blood in the moving truck. With almost no effort, Dexter determines a man with the animal disposal unit of the department of sanitation rented it. We meet a very creepy man when Dexter sets up a dead raccoon. We’ve not seen the last of Boyd Fowler.

In fact, Dexter heads to his house to see what he can see. In one of my favorite scenes of the episode, Boyd comes home for lunch and puts on some sort of personal empowerment self-help tape while Dexter’s there. They do a little dance of moving from room to room without Boyd seeing Dexter, but all Dexter can find is a locked attic door and a lock of hair…a numbered lock of hair.

I said this dude was creepy.

Later on, he follows Boyd out to a swamp where he dumps a barrel. It looks like the same barrel Dexter found stuffed with dead animals (Ugh, I know) at Boyd’s house, so he doesn’t think a whole lot of it. He might check it out, but he gets an emergency call from Deb.

Dude, Where Are My Kids?

Even though Dexter dropped the kids off for grief counseling before school, Deb finds out they never went to class. Deb is freaking out, but Dexter knows where they are. It’s not hard to figure out that they went back to the house. Astor’s only wanted to go there ALL EPISODE.

Dexter finds Cody and Astor in the bathroom, staring at the bathtub. Have they been standing there all day? Probably.

Cody asks Dexter not to be mad and he’s not. Instead, he apologizes for not letting them come back to the house sooner. They can even move there instead of a new apartment if that’s what they both really want.

And, finally, we learn why Astor is so damn angry with Dexter. She tells him that they’d gotten used to it and he ruined everything. When he asks what she’s talking about, the actress playing Astor delivers this heartbreaking monologue:

To the way things were. Before you. Without a dad. And then you come along and became a part of the family and we thought that everything was going to be good forever. You made us think that! And it’s not true. Things got worse. And now every time I look at you I get so angry because it was all just a lie. (Cody: It’s not Dexter’s fault.) I thought coming here would help. But that was stupid. (Dexter: I understand.) It looks exactly the same as before. You can’t even tell it happened, but I know my mom died there…/…I don’t want to live with you. I want to live with grandma and grandpa. I want to go back with them tonight. Right now.”

What can Dexter really say to that, you know? Heartwrenching…

A New Case…

We get a new crime scene with a head missing tongue and eyes. The beat cop tells Deb it looks like the work of a cult. She explains all the items found with the head. She also says that if it was the work of this local cult, they used a machete.

Deb dismisses her, but later has Masuka use a machete when he tries to recreate the blood spatter. It works.

At the next crime scene, they discover it’s the husband of the first victim. It’s supposed to look like a murder suicide, but Deb isn’t buying it. Neither is the beat cop.

Do we have a new serial killer? Or is this the work of a cult?

Dexter Gets a New Case, Too…

After a heartbreaking scene where Dexter says goodbye to Astor and Cody, watching them drive away with moist eyes, he returns to the swamp to find out what’s in the barrel. It’s a woman. Looking around, there are several there.

Dexter’s found someone worthy of being on the table…but he doesn’t care. The episode ends with Dexter wondering what it’s going to take to make him feel normal again.

Cody and Astor showed me that I could still care about something. That makes letting them go all that much harder. And it’s losing them that makes me realize there must be some small part of that innocent child still inside me. Because just like Astor I was foolish enough to think that things would always be good, but they’re not. They’re worse. Much worse. Normally, having a target would make me feel good. Give me direction. A sense of purpose…but now…It means nothing and I don’t know what’s going to make me feel better.

Wrapping Up and Looking Ahead

There was a lot more emotional content in this week’s episode of Dexter than the season 5 premiere. Yet again, we learn that Dexter is human, even though he believes he’s not. I’ve said it once and I’ll keep on saying it: Dexter isn’t a textbook sociopath. He has the capacity to feel. The trouble is that Dexter doesn’t understand the emotions he experiences so he doesn’t put a name to it.

But make no mistake, dark passengers, Dexter Morgan is a serial killer with a soul.

This week the previews were just so-so for me, but if you kept watching, there was an interview with Julia Stiles. She’s joining the cast this year and it looks like she might make her debut next week. Who is she? I have no idea. Guess we”ll find out soon.

*sighs* Is it next Sunday yet?

So, if anyone’s still reading, what did you think of this week’s episode of Dexter? Are you loving the show as much as I am, dark passengers, or was tonight’s episode missing something for you?

Also, do you prefer detailed recaps like this or do you just want me to skim the surface? It’s your call. :)


“Let your dark passenger come out to play…Be your own nemesis!”

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About Jen Whitten

Jen Whitten is a paranormal researcher and writer, specializing in psychic development, Empaths, modern day vampirism and dealing with entities. She regularly discusses the paranormal realm, as well as the dark inner workings of the mind.


  1. lovedex says:

    love this!

  2. john and cathie says:

    Yes!!!! We like the detailed recaps!!! Thanks.